it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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