singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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