My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
