I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
