i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
