Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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