either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
