State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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