My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
