You just made me feel so damn special
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
