ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My balls are so social today.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
