stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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