Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
