just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
