I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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