Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
