we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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