trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
