I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
