I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
