we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
PANTIES FOUND
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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