So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
