If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
