If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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