Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
