You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
only if we run a train.
done.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
