are you so shy because you have an std?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
