I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
