I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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