I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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