happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
