I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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