You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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