Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
