First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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