Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
