Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i believe in u and ur pee
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