My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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