Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
