I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
