My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
