She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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