Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
