Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
