when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
