This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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