I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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