Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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