i need an iv and a liver transplant
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
