you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
