Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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