margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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