SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
