You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
its not stalking. its research.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
