so that wasnt chicken after all
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
