he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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